The Sex Menu Plan
"We ate dinner and then he ate me," I wrote about two great pleasures (and necessities) of life. But what if you combine sex and food? Many have tried and the results are some great AND totally weird "eating" habits. So let me present to you:
Fill Me Up!
The Sex Menu Plan
BREAKFAST
1. The Grapefruit Blowjob Technique
Wake up to a glass of fresh-squeezed juice OR a grapefruit around your dick! Yup, there's something called "the grapefruit blowjob," which is based on Auntie Angel viral Youtube video where she demonstrates said technique. You cut a hole into the fruit, put his dick through it and then lick his tip... I'm not kidding people. It supposedly feels like getting fucked and sucked at the same time (have you seen "Girls Trip"?!) but be aware of paper cuts. I'm laughing but none-the-less intrigued.
2. Candy Lingerie
Two of my favorite things: breakfast in bed and morning sex. Why don't serve your lover both by putting on some CANDY G-STRINGS! Admittedly, (s)he might chip a tooth when trying to bite off the beats, so I'd recommend the lick and rip-off technique. You're breakfast enough anyways.
3. Maca
You had breakfast, now on to some supplements. My favorite: maca! The Incan root, often made into a tea, is also known as Peru's 'natural Viagra' and said to increase energy, stamina, fertility AND libido. Talk about a win-win. The health store Moon Juice also carries a "Sex Dust" supplement that combines maca with other boosting herbs. You're welcum.
LUNCH
1. Oysters
Oysters look like vaginas. Oysters are aphrodisiacs, filled with rich amino acids and zinc that are supposed to boost your libido. But the funnest fact? Famed Giacomo Casanova might've been the one who first put two and two together, at least in writing. Below an excerpt of his 'oyster erotica'...
"I put the shell to her mouth, I told her to suck in the liquid and keep the oyster between her lips. She performed the feat to the letter after laughing heartily, and I took the oyster by pressing my lips to hers with the greatest decency. She was delighted by the delicacy with which I took the oyster from her lips..."
He goes on dropping an oyster down her dress and having to retrieve it with is mouth. Oopsie. Read more here, it's great (food) porn.
2. Popsticles
Dick-in-a-box! Vagina Lollipops! Chocolate covered macaron penises! Phallic and pussy shaped treats are everywhere and a not so subtle way to show someone that you're down to go downtown. For lunch or anytime really.
DINNER
1. Nyotaimori
Eating foods of someone's body isn't quite a new thing and there's even a fetish term for it: Sploshing (or WAM, which stands for "wet and messy".) The possibilities of foods to choose from are endless but the oddest craze must be "Nyotaimori," where people eat sushi of a naked body. And no, I'm not talking about a one-on-one dining experience here (remember Sex & The City?!) but Japanese restaurants where a naked woman lies in the middle of a table covered in sushi and diners eat it off her body! One of those models wrote an article about her experience... I might stick to the one-on-one body omakase, though.
2. Chocolate Everywhere
Let 'em eat cake! Chocolate is hailed as an aphrodisiac but you probably knew that and I'm not that basic.
Maybe you want to serve your partner dessert by dripping chocolate syrup on your body and having them lick it off... but maybe, just maybe, you want to feed your partner cannabis-infused chocolates as foreplay! Its reputation for being an aphrodisiac is growing and according to Joe Dolce, the author of "Brave New Weed," its libido-boosting claims trace back at least 3000 years, ever since it entered India and was applied to Tantra. It's definitely not for everyone but I'm a huge fan. Of hugeness and weed in bed that is ;)